Shy guy reverses shyness

I am going to share how I reduced of my shyness in 4 steps.

And how you can use these magical steps to solve *any* problem in the world (go try it out guys)

First off, it goes out to all the shy introverts out there who find it hard to have conversations with others.

Second off, it goes out to all the problem-solvers in the world.

I know everything about being shy. I was there you know. I have always been known as both the "Shy guy" and the "Nice guy".

I was afraid of getting judged, so the only way I made "friends" was by being nice. I would never challenge others beliefs or opinions, and never talk in group settings. This turned around when I reflected in the summer holidays. Becuase I found the cause of the shyness.

Now I am an outgoing introvert.

Enough about me, here are the 4 steps I used to reduce my shyness:

Step #1: Awareness

The first step to reducing your shyness is awareness. Why are you shy? Reflect on these 4 causes of shyness:

• Self-consciousness

• Negative self-talk

• Low self-esteem

• Fear of judgment

Do you recognize any of the causes in your own life? Choose the causes that you recognize, and let's get on with it.

It's alright if you chose all 4. I also had all of them when I was shy.

Now your goal is to dive deeper into the causes you chose. If you chose negative self-talk, then why are you doing it? What is the root cause of your negative self-talk?

Journal about it to get a bigger awareness.

Step #2: Deal with the root cause

When I was journaling, I found out that my cause to being shy was my "friends". They were toxic and keeping me down in the dirt.

So the first step I had to take was cutting them off. Removing them from my life.

If you don't know your root cause, try reflecting on your friends.

When you are with them:

• Do you genuinely enjoy their presence?

• Do they bring out the best version of you?

• Do you feel any pressure to be a different person?

• Do they encourage you to do bad habits like smoking?

It might also be family members. Or it might be past traumas.

If the cause is other people, remove them. Or at least detach yourself emotionally from them. Don't let them control you.

If the cause is past traumas, journal about them. You cannot avoid the past. You have to confront it. Talk to someone about it, or write about it.

And I recommend journaling.

I did this when I was considering removing my toxic friends. This is what made me remove them. Self-reflection. You need it to improve brother.

I remember suppressing and repressing my past.

It didn't do any good. So the key point to reduce shyness is to confront the cause. And deal with it, so you can finally let go of it.

And now we are going to let it go baby:

Step #3: Let go

So now that you have been journaling about the cause and dealing with the cause, it's time to let go.

If you have to let go of friends, reflect on this:

• What good will they bring me?

• What are the consequences of holding on to them?

• Will I ever improve if I hold on to them?

These questions made it easier for me to let go.

Now it's important that you don't have any hard feelings towards them. If you are thinking negatively about them after you cut them off, they will still impact you.

Trust me, I did experience this. It wasn’t fun.

So what did I do? I thought of the good times we had together. The memories. And I thought of the lessons I learned from our time together. Without them, I might not be the same place I am today.

The lesson I learned was huge, and prevented me from getting toxic friends again.

So I ended it off on a good note, with expressing my gratitude towards them. This way them won't keep impacting your life after you have cut them off.

“You were grateful for toxic people???” Yessir!

If you have to let go of the past, you can iterate the 3 questions above to something like: "What good will it bring me to keep thinking of the past?"

Now lets get good bros:

Step #4: Improve

Now that you have let go of everything holding you back, it's time to improve.

Why? Because if you don't improve, you will keep ending up in toxic friendships. New things will show up to hold you back. To avoid it, you gotta improve.

Improving is a lot of things, but we will start with 2:

1. Getting rid of bad habits.

2. Starting good habits.

You might already know your bad habits. If you don't, take the time to write all your habits / routines down.

Then you can take the time to reflect over every one of those habits:

"Is this habit positively impacting my life?"

"Is this habit leading me towards my goals?"

"Do I see myself doing this habit in 5 years?"

"Would my ideal self do this habit?"

Now you know what habits to keep, and what habits to quit.

So to quit a habit, I can recommend slowly reducing it. If you game 3 hours a day, cut it down to 2 or even 2,5 hours for 1 week. And then cut it down again the following week.

If you want to start good habits, I can recommend:

1. Journaling

2. Meditating

3. Working out

To start, then slowly increase the time you spend on the habit. Start meditating 2 minutes. Increase it over time.

Conclusion

Alright folks, that it for today.

You can use these 4 steps to deal with all kinds of problems. Whatever problems bothers you, the first step is always awareness of the problem. And then dealing with it.

So next time you encounter a problem, try out the 4 steps.

And if you still struggle with shyness and low self esteem, you can find me on twitter here: https://twitter.com/ash_rote. DM me "Improve" and I will coach you for free.

Be sure to have a breathtaking day folks!

-Ash