Storytime

Welcome to my story, part 2 of 3.

Today, we will dive into my routine for 6 years of being addicted to gaming. In yesterday’s story we found problems. Today, we will find solutions by using self-reflection.

You will realize how your friends treat you, and figure out if they are toxic or not.

You will find the motive behind your bad habits to get disgusted by keep doing them, to finally break your addiction.

Alright let's get into it:

Routine for 6 years of misery

You might ask: "Ash, what were you doing these 6 years?"

I will tell you. I did 3 things: Live on autopilot, escape and sleep. Literally everything I would do. My schedule looked something like this:

• 6 am: Wake up, put on clothes, game.

• 7 am: Breakfast, ready for school.

• 8 am - 3 pm: School.

• 3 pm - 6 pm: Game.

• 6 - 8 pm: Dinner, family time.

• 8 pm - 6 am: Sleep.

Quite a pointless life.

And this was my life for 6 years as I said, from 10 to 16 years old. Not joking when I say:

The only thing that changed was the bedtime.

I was living on autopilot. I didn't have a purpose. And you know what they say: "If you don't find you purpose, you will be assigned one." And oh boy was this right.

My purpose became gaming.

I didn't find purpose in friends. Not in family. Not in school. I found purpose in gaming. Gaming was my life. I could understand games. I could win games. Unlike life, I could make progress!

The progress drove me.

So I became addicted to games like clicker heroes. Games with a steady, measurable progression system. And I found my purpose in them. Dreaming about them. In school I would think about getting home to game. Which game would I play? How would I play it?

Yes, you read correct. I was dreaming about games. That shit is fucked up. I was well on my way to staying a gaming goblin for the rest of my life.

Uncomfortable times

But finally, something would happen.

I would get out of my comfort zone. Really far out. But you know what happens when you get out of your comfort zone. You grow. And oh boy did I grow.

I went on a boarding school for 1 year.

First of all, it meant that I was away from the computer. Secondly, it meant that I had to live on the boarding school with my peers.

This made me realize something: I had been gaming because I wanted to escape.

Escaping life was the motive behind my bad habits.

This realization gave me an awful feeling every time I would escape. And THAT made me stay away from escaping.

Funny how that works right?

Break. Stop. We pause the story real quick so you can improve yourself. You wanna remove your bad habits? Good, then reflect on your bad habits:

1. “What is the motive behind my bad habits?”

2. “Is this motive a good reason to keep doing them?”

3. “How do I feel while I do the bad habits? Afterwards?”

4. “Do I want to keep doing the bad habits?”

5. “What hobby/skill/interest could I replace the bad habit with?”

Feel free to insult me if these questions don’t get you more conscious about your actions and habits. But instead of insulting me, make your own questions and answer them ;) If that doesn’t work, then I sincerely invite you to insult me on twitter: @ash_rote

Enough talking, back to the story:

But I was still insecure.

I had become more outgoing by living with my peers. But that alone didn’t change my personality and self limiting beliefs. So I still let people walk all over me.

I wondered why friends became toxic.

But when I read "The Six Pillars of Self Esteem" it all made sense. This quote tells it all:

So the most important lesson I learned: "People treat you the way you treat yourself."

And I finally understood why people got so toxic. Because I was toxic against myself.

Break. Stop. “Damn, is he doing this again?” You bet I am. It’s all about self reflection baby. Reflect on these:

1. "How do I treat myself?"

2. "How does other people treat me?"

3. "Is there a connection between them?"

4. “Do I genuinely enjoy being with my friends?”

5. "What is 1 thing I can do to respect myself better?"

Back to the story:

But I wanted to change the way people treated me. I didn't want toxic friends. I didn't want to escape, I didn't want to have low self esteem.

And this is when I discovered self improvement.

Oh, that ended quickly. Well, thank you for reading. Hope you enjoyed it, folks. Now tell me, did you do the self-reflection practices? If you want to improve, go back and answer the questions.

Alright, part 3 is gonna be out tomorrow. It’s all about how I started self improvement, and how I live today.

I am going to have some recommendations for you to start self improvement if you haven’t already. And how to make progress with the self improvement.

See you tomorrow.

-Ash